Home > Alone, Children, Dating, Family > I would feel …

I would feel …

It’s an overcast, grey, empty streets glossy from rain, chilly, messy apartment, nothing to do day here in my building. I’ve a self-imposed schedule that will bulk up my time, but you know what would make today meaningful?

The thrill of a phone call from my children. More pulse deafening than any various form of contact from anyone else, seeing the incoming number on my cell would jar me into splendid joy. I would know how my oldest did on his Learners Permit test on Friday. I would know how well my middle one felt he did on his Thursday at school when he had multiple tests. I would hear from my daughter, in her little girl voice, what she and her friends have been doing this weekend.

I would feel that I belonged.

The low voltage of steady, streaming, hair-raising electricity conspiculously felt sizzling between myself and the woman who I felt I would never finally meet. The comfort nestled deeply and securely within my soul, during a moment when she doesn’t know what I’m thinking, understanding with bright, iris cleansing clarity how fortunate and thankful I am that she has made the conscious decision to spend precious and unretrieveable seconds, minutes and hours with a guy like me. The silent promises I would keep armed and barricaded within my heart, the sacrifices to the belief in love I would be willing to endure and the chastity of single thought romance I yearn to happily embrace would all conspire to melt the vulnerability I feel with the touch of someone who is simply there and the susceptibility to widen arms to those who extend them in unison.

I would feel in love.

  1. 03/06/2011 at 10:00 PM

    Aww…I think I have written many a post like this. Yearning for love, and for meeting the one I’m meant to. Please take heart in knowing that it will happen. I promise. You seem like such a wonderful, loving, caring person that would go to the ends of the earth for the one you love. The right one will see that.

  2. 03/07/2011 at 2:16 PM

    You know, I hear those comments about me all the time. And sure, the ‘right one’ will happen. I know these things.

    But cliches suck in the meantime.

    I sometimes feel that time is slipping away and ‘all the best years’ are behind me.

    More cliches, huh?

    But I remain optomistic that I’ll meet someone worthy of the deep, deep well of love that’s been inside of me for so long will be tasted and claimed by ‘the woman of my dreams’.

    • 03/07/2011 at 2:27 PM

      I am guilty of the cliches…and considering I grew tired of hearing them too, when I was struggling to find the ‘right’ one, it’s hard to swallow them, absolutely. I am a firm believer in meeting the right one when you are meant to, but you’re right, it certainly doesn’t help when you don’t have that person in sight.

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