Home > Dating > Swing and a Miss

Swing and a Miss

The woman who I gave a secret box of chocolates to on V’day? The one that I inhaled a deep breath for in order to not let the moment slip away and in a gutsy move ask her out? She never called!

What’s up with that?

I hadn’t heard from her after I wrote my number down on that napkin last week, so I did something I hardly ever do. But, it’s something that I do now with a “Hey, you can’t sail if you don’t at least get on the boat, right?” attitude.

I went to her section of the building, into her department and found her there cleaning up her area. She smiled and we said a mutual “Hi” and I mentioned that I had this coming Wednesday off – how about we go out for either brunch or if it were better for her, dinner somewhere later that night? She said that sounded good but she needed to be sure she was free and she would call me. I was heady with delight.

Well, here it is Friday, two days have passed since Wednesday, and she still hasn’t called. And I’m not used to that.

I thought, “Hey!”, I at least deserve a phone call saying no thank you! Polite rejection is just part and parcel of dating anyway and no harm done. But, not calling at all … I have no tolerance for that.

I thought of going back up to her and in a good-hearted and light way asking if she lost my number. Or maybe she’s been overwhelmed? Or maybe because I’m so new to her she’s a bit shy about a three-day weekend B&B somewhere in the Berkshires and maybe I would be willing to tone it down to a one night stay at a Holiday Inn in the burbs?

But, these days, there’s a fine line between doggedly pursuing the romantic vision in your heart and having a restraining order taken out on you and being labeled a stalker.

So, like a thread being carried on a brisk and billowy wind, I’m letting it go.

Nice guys finish last? No, more like nice guy went over another obstacle.

Who’s free this weekend?

Batter up!

Categories: Dating Tags: , , ,
  1. youngromantic
    03/04/2011 at 5:42 PM

    I’m free! Lol … just kidding! I live in Canada and I gather you live in the States, so that’s an issue.

    But I feel your pain. What is it with people not calling or responding? There’s no excuse for communicative indifference, especially with the convenience of text messaging, Facebook, etc. And since this woman works in your building, there’s even less of an excuse!

    It’s so much easier when someone tells you, “thanks but no thanks,” so at least you can stop wondering what went wrong …

    • 03/04/2011 at 6:00 PM

      I completely agree about having “no excuse for communicative indifference”. Hey, I really like the way that phrase rolls off my tongue and I’m going to use it.

      So many people refuse to acknowledge the simple act of doing the right thing. Sure, it’s embarrassing and may sting a little bit, but it’s over quick and again, no harm done.

      But I disagree with any other method except for face to face or at least a quick phone call. I can’t imagine getting a ‘no thank you’ via text – kind of cold. Although I’ve heard of people getting dumped via fax!

      And you’re in Canada? Isn’t that northern US?

      I’m kidding. Just stirring up patriotic wrath for a rebound comment.

      • youngromantic
        03/05/2011 at 2:48 AM

        Actually, it was a guy who ended up causing me to be the recipient of this who coined the term communicative indifference. I’ve experienced it more than my fair share of times but usually will tell someone in person if I’m not into them.

        I’ve gotten a “no thank you” after a date via text, on Christmas Eve! I got over it pretty quickly though!

        And yes, good ol’ Canada. I was going to get mad at your comment, but then I remembered you’re an ignorant American! :p How’s that for stirring up patriotic wrath?

        On second thought, I DO only live 45 minutes away from the border …

        • 03/06/2011 at 1:50 PM

          The Christmas Eve text would be hard to top, but glad you were over it quickly.

          OK, you win on the patriotic wrath thread – you’re rough!

          My only visit to Canada was when I went just over the border during a ski trip to Jay Peak. It was beautiful.

  2. 03/04/2011 at 8:08 PM

    Aww. I’m sorry she hasn’t called yet! HOWEVER, if it’s for next Wednesday, perhaps she thinks she still has time to call to firm something up? This is the “optimistic Ollie” in me speaking 😉 If it were for this weekend, then, sure, she definitely should have called, but I wouldn’t count it out completely. I do agree that she should respond, either way, no stringing along. But I give you TONS of credit for sticking yourself out there and going back to her again. That takes guts. Not sure I could do that after being ‘used’ to the online dating thang.

    • 03/06/2011 at 1:52 PM

      It was for this past Wednesday. No harm, no foul.

      It felt great to actually walk up to her and ask again. It’s something that I’d do anyway – the cocky and self-assured side of me that pops up once in a while.

      More often now.

  3. 03/07/2011 at 3:01 AM

    If I was this lady, I would have definitely at least given you the courtesy of a phone call to let you know that dinner / brunch / coffee wasn’t going to work. I always give credit to the guys who have the courage to ask us women out. It takes a lot of courage and the least us women can do is be honest in our interest and not take the easy way out – avoidance.

    • 03/07/2011 at 2:22 PM

      You have a great point and one that men continually bring up in conversation.

      Most women expect, even in the day and age of wide-spread and established feminism that men still continue to be the one to ‘make the first move’. Even when they hang their new shingle on an online dating service, they will let it sit there and wait to be contacted.

      So finally a man braves up and contacts them – and they aren’t even given the courtesy of a ‘no thank you’ reply.

      I find that disturbing, ego-centric and contrary to standards that they have set for themselves.

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