… Planting Seeds

I’ve been experiencing the results of specific plans being laid out within the past few months. And though they’ve been laughably knee jerk, or altogether not specifically sparked by intelligent forethought, or driven by step by step strategy, they’ve somehow borne fruit. And it’s taught me a valuable lesson.

I had applied for a position at a building where I sometimes fill in as a pool per diem. I’ve been going there for years and where I have unknowingly built up quite a peer admiration society I’ve found out. When I went there a few weeks ago to fill in, I asked those around me, those who admired my work ethic and knowledge, if there were any positions open and they quickly said that there were. Well, unknown to them, when I went back the next working day to ask the supervisor, she loved me and my resume, but had just hired two new staff members. Damn!

A few days ago I went back for a scheduled per diem shift and it was during my shift that an employee went to the supervisor and spoke of needing time off. The supervisor called me into her office, told me of the circumstances (and that she had to let that employee go due to too much time being taken off) and offered me the position! It was a whirlwind because …

I had been tendered an offer at the facility where reacquainted girlfriend works! All I was waiting for was a call from them as to when they could fit me into their orientation. It was a done deal. At the same time …

I have been at the tail end of another orientation as a per diem employee only. Orientation out of the classroom and now onto the floor was deflating to put it kindly. Never had I been in a building where so much negativity about the building and the staff flowed so freely. It was disheartening, but a building where I could get a check every once in a while. It almost physically hurt to be there.

However, all bets were off when I received an offer at the building I wanted to be in. It was a rush of good feelings – stability, working at a facility that was clean, efficient, professional, fosters team-work as more than a word game, and most importantly, it’s where I want to be!

Yesterday I called the supervisor where reacquainted girlfriend works and politely and professionally thanked them for their interest but I had received another offer that I was accepting. I then called the facility where I was on floor orientation and did the same. I later learned from reacquatinted girlfriend that her supervisor was very disappointed because she really wanted someone of my caliber to come aboard as inspiration. She said that “we lost a big one“. I then called the floor orientation building (confused? maybe I should have used building #1 and building #2) and relayed the same information to them. They were a bit more peeved. I sense that they knew my worth, but on the other hand, I was only per diem (which may only come about every month or so) and was low-balled on pay. They acted on the phone as if I were abandoning their burning ship and came off kind of righteous. But, I remained committed to staying professional and courteous and thanked them for the opportunity and that they had taught me a few things  didn’t know, so I appreciated the time with them.

Let me also add that I was contacted yesterday by yet another facility, who in the voice mail said that they ‘were very excited about my resume and were very interested in setting up an interview‘!

Sewing it up, I will be a full-time employee at the facility I want to be in beginning the second week of January with a set schedule! Until then, I have a slew of hours/shifts from the building that were vacated by the person who was let go and they will keep me busy and paycheck viable.

Going back to my focus areas, I have to say that they’re falling into place. Not as aligned as I would like them to be, but opportunity has knocked and I have answered.

  • Work – I called it my lynch stone of confidence, and while that may need to be clarified in a future post I can tell you firsthand that having employment is HUGE to my ego and confidence and because of a regular paycheck, well, let’s face it, without a regular paycheck life can be full of horror – real and unreal. My schedule is not at all conducive to seeing my children. It will be a real shock to both myself and to them to not see them as regularly as I have been post-divorce, but with my (new) mindset that nothing is permanent, I drive on, sacrificing short-term results for the long-term results.
  • School – my new work schedule takes into account the time off that I need to be in that class! I already feel myself sitting in that chair that has been reserved for my butt! I will still pursue  financial aid because technically, I will not be a full-time employee for a few more weeks. But, I’m there!
  • Dating – still making a resolve to stick with reacquainted girlfriend and even invited her over tonight for a celebration drink. Back story: I vowed to not buy a certain liquor, that I normally keep stocked and ran out of in November, until I was employed full-time. So tonight I have a glass in celebration!
  • Faith – I truly believe that my faith has played a major part in keeping my sanity (I had sanity? am I serious?) intact. It’s taught me that I need this in my life to fall back on and more importantly, to keep me revved and grounded. Again, I like the focus and schedule of it all. Something else just for me.
  • Accomplishment – every little step, every item crossed off, every tweak in the past few months has inched me forward. Crawling sometimes, but ever forward. Again, lesson learned. Burned into my psyche really, but that’s a momentous accomplishment also.

So, it’s been the planting of seeds that has propelled me to where I am. Beginning this blog which gave me a venue to spew out my shortcomings and ravaged past, my getting off my ass to fill out a million applications and make many, many calls which brough me new opportunities, my getting back to church which has helped me to look inward which was so very needed, my being in touch with school along my determination to be there which has fine tuned me as to where I want to be in my future, getting back with reaquainted girlfriend which brough me great comfort and a positive feedback mechanism (don’t mean it to sound so mechanical), and a set of crossed off accomplishments which allows me a roadmap to my greater life.

A humble beginning, granted, very humble, but I look at what I now have with renewed vigor and a profound sense of gratitude.

Maybe this was all a lesson to be learned? A cosmic spanking meant to enlighten me? A fire lit underneath me to reawaken my sense of purpose? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that I take all that has happened in these past few months as a ticket to inner freedom. And the seeds that I’ve planted, the seeds which have come to fruition, have shown me that even greater rewards are to be had.

I’m just going to continue to plant seeds and watch what grows.

  1. cassee01
    12/28/2010 at 7:14 PM

    I’m so happy for you!!!!

    • 12/30/2010 at 12:20 PM

      Thanks cassee01 – I’m getting really happy also. But, I look at it as just the beginning!

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